super weird. read my last few posts and thought my blog had gotten hacked

i don’t even know what to talk about. it’s like when someone asks you a simple, straightforward question like “what’s your favorite food” and your mind just goes blank for no reason

kinda miss having a life to blog about, which is stupid to say cuz i very much still do have a life but i can’t post about it much (work yk). i have so many books littered around. books i’ll pick up to read then place back down as soon as i’m distracted (approx 42 seconds later). i’ve got ward no 6 by chekhov on my dinner table, crash by jg ballard at my computer desk. and then on the opposite end of the couch i’m currently sitting on, i’ve got:

• misreadings by umberto eco
• my mother’s house and sido by colette
• humanly possible by sarah bakewell
• i am the wolf lyrics and writings by mark lanegan

none of which i’ve actually read and finished, except for chekhov but that was like 15 years ago, been trying to re-read. in fact, i wanna re-read lots going forward. about half the books i own i read in my late teens to mid-twenties. no reason for me not to read, i need to escape from my workaholic tendencies somehow. but it’s tough

ah, forgot the master and margarita in my bedroom. claude recommended it after i told it what i liked. i happened to already own it which was convenient. anyway, i’m gonna get up. i’ve been sitting for a long while. not sure what i’ll do tonight. maybe i’ll sleep early

You’d think the “every day” part would be the easiest. I’m sure it gets easier as one does it, like with most things in life. Most of my days are pretty uneventful, and no one cares to read about my thoughts on the current state of the world. I find it difficult to come up with things to blog about that even I find valuable.

Sitting very contorted in bed right now, my back will not forgive me in the morning.

Unhappy to report I’m now a cog in the machine or whatever. No time for myself. Just working. Weekends all I think about is work. I dream about work sometimes. I wake up pissed at the world those days.

I don’t even know how to find good new music these days anymore. I think Pitchfork is going away or something. Something about GQ selling it or whatever. Announced some time back. Embarassing to admit I used to rely on Pitchfork for new music but it’s true. Oh well. I’m a millenial, can’t help it.

Don’t have time to read either. That’s bullshit. I have time but I use it to dissociate instead. Bad habit.

I think I’ve got some old blogspot/blogger blogs bookmarked from like fifteen or twenty years back. Might try to read those for inspo. I should sleep unfortunately. Maybe I’ll write in the morning.

Or so I read. No, I’m not in Dubai currently. But I know a lot of people who are and they keep uploading videos of their experience on Twitter. Pretty insane footage. They really have no reason being out there either. Especially not with a war looming. Foreigners stay sucking.

I have a full-time job now which means it’s impossible for me to enjoy my life. Not even three months in and I’m already dreaming of retirement.

Gonna try to write in here every day from here on out just to see what happens. I bought a handicam like two years ago telling myself I’d document my life and then I just never did smh. I always do this.

It’s unfortunate I don’t have a following on here and that I’d basically have to become an SEO black hat just to make my posts somewhat visible. Oh well.

I migrated my blog over from blogger and some posts are fucked up. Too lazy to fix them. I’ll get around to it at some point.

I tried to watch The Taking of Pelham 123 yesterday and was too distracted on my phone pretty much the whole time. Shame on me. I’ll rewatch someday.

Tomorrow is the last day of 2023. Here’s to more blogging in 2024 🍸

ring™️ doorbell cameras have ruined ding dong ditching and TPing forever

if i told you that an erotic horror movie featuring susan sarandon and catherine deneuve as lesbian vampires featuring david bowie had bauhaus performing bela lugosi’s dead as the opening credits rolled it’d prob sound too good to be true but i can assure you it isn’t

or a blog. idek where to begin, i haven’t written in forever. i forgot how this works